Tough love : none of us like it. But as with most things we don’t like, we often need them the most!
My mother taught me all about tough love. I hated it. Growing up, nothing was ever good enough. There was always another question, another concern and another perspective. I remember coming home with a 100% on a test once and while both of my parents seemed pleased, they asked why I did not get 110%.
Now, I find myself doing the same thing, both to myself and to those closest to me. I always want to point out all of the possible concerns I have. I always find a way to find the hole in an argument or idea. I do not do this in order to discourage people from following their dreams or goals, in fact it’s quite the opposite. I always try to find the hole and fix the hole so that the entire foundation of someone’s dream or idea is stable and strong! I always want to push people further and try to be honest when I feel that someone in my life is making a mistake. I guess I really am hardest on people who I love the most. Naturally, the reason I care so much about pointing out the “bad” is because I simply care too much and love certain people so much, that I want to do everything in my power to see them happy and successful. Going out of my way to always point out all of the good is also something I work on constantly because at the end of the day, I am a believer in that you can catch more flies with honey then with…. oh, I do not even know the end of that expression, but you get the point.
The bottom line is that if your closest and friends and family aren’t real with you and do not call you out on your bullshit, who will? Just like I appreciate my mom’s tough love, and I realize that it is because of this tough love that I am the person I am today, I hope that at the end of the day, the people who I push, and those who I am most honest with about the good and the bad can see that it’s all coming from a place of love and also from a place of belief in their potential.
Potential: there is so much of it, both within myself and within those closest to me. I want to push myself and well as those I love to explore all of their potential and I am working on finding the most tactful way to go about this. As much as I do not enjoy being criticized and as much as I hated when my mother would point out all of the negative things, I truly work on appreciating the fact that someone loves me enough to be honest with me. This is a gift and as hard as it is to handle at times, learning to accept the things that need improvement and love your friends and family for being honest with you is something worth working on now and forever.
Photo note: this photo was taken in Rome in 2009 and it is of a beautiful friend of mine named Alana Joy, who is always someone who I can be honest with and who I know loves and appreciates it. This image also makes me thing a lot about this idea of potential… look at all that light shining in.